Don’t Choose Awkward Business Names Like These


It is completely okay to have a little bit of humor in your business title but there is a very fine line between humor and disaster. Some entrepreneurs just for the sake of getting noticed choose names that are downright nonsensical and at times offensive.

One has to be very careful if taking this route in naming their business. You need to be absolutely sure if your customers would even understand and if doing so will benefit you or not. Whatever you do, do not choose a name like these guys did:

1. Doggie Styles

This one is a bit funny but definitely very risky as well. Doggie Styles is a pet groomer based in California. However, their name can easily offend any conservative person with the sexual innuendo in the name. It would not be surprising if an old Southern woman takes her dog back home without grooming.

2. Pee Cola

Okay, this is one drink I never want to drink! Pee Cola is a Ghanaian drink which is pretty popular there actually but I can hardly imagine someone buying it in London or Melbourne.

3. Moist Realtors

This is a good example of why you should not name your business after your name, especially if you have a name that could have double meanings. Apparently, Mr. Moist did not think that through and named his real estate agency after his name.

4. Pho King

Now pho is a delicious Vietnamese dish, this restaurant name is not. Pho combined with King sounds like a common English abuse. It may sound funny but you probably will not see a lot parents or adults walking in to have some tasty noodles.

5. Butt Solicitors

This is the name of an English law firm and it is just weird. Perhaps it is based on someone’s name or something but it definitely is not appropriate for a law firm. It is fine when musicians keep racy and funny names but for lawyers, it is just bizarre. Who are you looking for as clients? Clowns perhaps.

6. Hitler Chicken

This is a fast food restaurant in Thailand that if existed in say France or Norway would have been shut by now. This business deliberately chose the association with the Nazi leader. Interestingly enough, they had an even more offensive logo with Hitler dressed as KFC’s colonel. Obviously they were pushing the envelope too much to a brink of tearing it, so they had to change the name and now it is H-ler.

7. Analtech

Do people even think before naming businesses? Apparently not as this Delaware based Biotech Company chose to name itself Analtech. They sell thin layer chromatography plates and perhaps are doing well. It is very surprising to see such a business from a scientific industry choose such a name.

8. Stoner Drug

Actually a pharmacy, Stoner Drug would be very misleading at least for those who do recreational drugs. They must have their reasoning for naming the business Stoner or perhaps they did it when this term did not even exist but it would be difficult to have foot traffic for medication in this store.

9. Sogay

This Peruvian Bottled Water can be considered homophobic. May be it would not be a big deal in Peru as it is a Spanish speaking country but if they were to expand, they will have a lot of trouble selling in other regions like North America and Europe.

10. Poo Ping Restaurant

“Honey, we are going Poo Ping tonight!” Does that sound disgusting, I bet it does. Even if they have great food, chances are an average restraint goer would shy away from eating here. The connotation, however funny intended, is actually not helpful.

11. S&M Family Mart

It is a Texas retail chain that sells women clothing and houseware. Even though it is doing well as a store, it would sound pretty awkward to someone who is not their customer already. Not to mention how difficult it would be to search them on the internet. Just make sure you type the whole store name.

12. Dykes Lumber

This lumber company has ten stores and can be very offensive to some ladies. They managed to combine dyke and lumber in their name making it most offensively stereotypical. Could it be the person behind the business is named Dykes? Yikes!

13. Poison Bakery

This is the most ironic name ever as who would want to name a bakery after Poison? They may have killer tasty cakes but not many people would walk in to find out. It is very risky to name a confectionary business with such a gothic vision. 

14. Bunghole Liquors

This is definitely attention grabbing as this Massachusetts based liquor store also gave an explanation for the name. It is still very cheesy and gives double meaning which is not exactly one wants with their budding business. However, this business chose to go all out and even market the associated double meaning. Not everyone may be able to get away with it. 

15. Beaver Cleaners

This Canadian laundry service apparently ran out of all possible brand names so they just went with Beaver. We have seen beavers building dams and beavers cleaning themselves, but it does not mean you just name a whole new business over it. Or does it? 

Avoid Such Risky Names

Your business name is your intellectual property too so make sure you make a mark. Whether you craft it yourself or use an online solution, the key is to keep it smart. Only certain businesses can have a witty name and for others this is a plain disaster. Many of the above names are equivocal and can confuse an incoming customer. A catchy name is great but a stupid name is, well, just stupid. It would take ages for you to convince or explain people your brand name and in most cases it just would not click with your audience. This is even more so relevant when your customers are sophisticated individuals.

Instead of keeping an awkward name like those above, put your business idea into a business name generator like Namobot and get crazy unique names to choose from. The choices are abundant and cover almost every industry and field. And most importantly, they would not have cheeky references or nonsense terms.

Using a generator, you can find multitudes of ideas for names if you yourself are having a difficult time creating one. The name should be unique of course, but not in the sense that it offends someone or does not make sense at. Pulling off an offensive or culturally inappropriate term is highly risky and is therefore not recommended. Instead let the tool work for you and present you with scads of options and possibilities. Then choose the one that sounds great, gets your brand image across and most importantly stands out.

If you want to name your brand something ironic or humorous, make sure it is not offensive or racist. You also need to evaluate whether your niche would like the name or not. If the audience does not even get the joke behind it, what is the point? It is rather better to take the normal route than this as there are too many risks.

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